Twitter + facebook + DM’s = Digidating? Pt. 2

Hello! Thank you for joining me once again on these dating escapades.

So in part 1 you read about how I was not looking nor on a paying dating website and met some men.

Well I have two more contestants that hit me when I first really got into social media about 5 years ago.

I will also call these the peen flashers. I think that is self explanatory.

MEN… whyyyyyyyyy must you take pics of your man part and send it to us women when we have either asked you NOT to or you just ASSume we want to see your peen?

The contestant #3 was a guy who SAYS he was in med school to become a forensic doctor. *Note the emphasis on SAYS… Catfisher? I digress…* He was cute, attentive, and witty. So far, so good, right?

Sure… we’re having a discussion about our childhoods after day 3 of meeting online and out of NOWHERE sir says to me he has a large peen. WTH does THAT have to do with me OR this discussion sir????

I say nothing…I let him babble on…

#3: Well when I was in 4^th grade I remember going into the school bathroom stall and comparing my peen with the size of the cardboard toilet paper roll.

Me: ……………………………………………… oh

#3: Let me send you a pic to show you what I’m talking about.

Me: Noooooooooooooooooooooo I believe you. I don’t need to see it.

#3: Silence….crickets…

Me: SCREAMING *throws phone* while my phone dings with about 5 inappropriate pics

Me: Straight cussed him out and then silence forever and ever and ever and ever. Amen.

Now contestant #4 was a devout Christian man. He talks about God every day. Reads his Bible for a “Rhema” word, and is head musician at his church. Proceed with caution Toy b/c these are usually the BIGGEST freaks. Dating in the church is an entirely different bag of groceries, blog post and discussion!

So in our first ever conversation we’re doing a Q&A type interview.

Welllllll somewhere we veer into him….

#4: *whispering* well *clears throat* I’m very well endowed… when I was a little boy… I went to the bathroom….

Me: *LMAO!* STOP right there sir. LOLOLOL… ok… now let me tell you wherever you are about to go with this…I’ve heard it before! So don’t even…

#4: crickets… (feelings hurt) …ok.

Me: Take care. Have a nice life. Lose my number.

REALLY?????????????? Note to self… 1) Stick to your original purpose of using social media for networking. 2) It could take even longer to find a decent man walking on this earth. Sighhhhhhh

I guess some are on social media for the wrong things JUST like they are offline and in person! Now there have been social media meetings for myself in the last 5 years that have actually turned out to be fantastic personal & professional connections. The above are probably theeeee worst I have encountered.

Until we travel down the dating lane again… have fun, be safe, be cautious, wash your body with SOAP, brush your teeth and gargle with somebody’s Scope or Listerine. LOLOLLL. Bye!

 

*Featured pic source: Bostinno (http://bostinno.streetwise.co/all-series/the-one-week-i-tried-online-dating/)

Twitter + facebook + DM’s = digidating?

Wellllp.. the dating carries on.

Nowadays vs. back in the day for me is totally different. We’re in the NOW age. Want sex? You can get it NOW from a friend with a benefit. Want some attention? Post bootylicious pics on facebook, Twitter, Instagram and you’ve got a virtual twubby, facebook boo, and a digital love affair or what I like to call digidating.

You also have the paying dating sites… match.com, eharmony.com, BlackPeopleMeet.com, etc.

As Lil Kim, Charlie Wilson and T-Pain sing in “Download” you don’t have to leave your home to find a love interest. I’m on twitter for networking & news. In the ever-changing timelines you meet some truly interesting people. Some good professional connects, others turn out to be real friends & acquaintances.

AND then comes the ever repetitive DM-er.

Before I go any further ladies… If that man is hitting your DM box up TRUST you are not the only one he is communicating with online. I highly advise you tell him if he cannot talk to you on your TL, then get out ya DM’s and UNFOLLOW.

Some of my digital meetings have been with a few gentlemen… well I’ll say contestants… who hit me up on facebook thru mutual friends.

Contestant #1

#1: Hello beautiful.

Me: (…… crickets…. 36 hrs. later…) Hi. Thank you for the compliment.

#1: How are you today?

Me: I’m ok. Just a bit tired from my day. And you?

#1: Oh sorry to hear that. Too bad I’m not there to rub your back.

Me: …………………………………………

Me: …………………………………………

Me: Excuse me. I’m not trying to be rude, BUTTTT I don’t even know you well enough to rub my pinky finger…let alone MY BACK.

#1: Lol. Fair enough. Where do you live? You got a man?…………….

Me: ……closed out the conversation. X-ed out the conversation history. And cussed myself and facebook for allowing mutual friends to connect and message me!

Contestant #2

#2: You are absolutely gorgeous. How are you?

Me: ………. Thank you. I’m doing well. How are you today?

#2: I’m well. Getting ready to train.

Me: Oh what are you training for?

#2: The Olympics.

Me: Oh ok. What events?

#2: What do you do for a living…etc. …etc. …etc….

Me: What do you do for a living?

#2: Well I was a teacher, but got out of that line of work. It wasn’t for me. So I’m now a chef.

Me: Ah ok nice. What restaurant do you cook for?

#2: Well I cook for about 3-4 places.

Me (in my mind): ………screeeeeech…. HOW does this? Is he….? I just……? So what times does your day start?

#2: Well it starts at 5am where I go to our facility and make biscuits for the corporation.

Me: Choked (in my mind) so he’s a … “corporate biscuit maker”??? The brother has an honest job. Good deal, HOWEVER I have never heard of a corporate biscuit maker.

#2: I would love to meet you…. Yada, yada, yada, yada……

Nonetheless… I never met these two guys. I cancelled those conversations, hopes, wishes, and aspirations before I could even accept their friendships!

So what is the takeaway from this experience ya’ll? Put a LOCK on ya privacy settings in facebook and a man can give tired lines and LIES even EASIER online. Hell… that’s why MTV’s “Catfish” is such a huge cultural phenomenon! Read in between the social media lines folks! Happens every day!

NOW I have a contestant #3 and #4 that I’ll write about in part 2 of this digital social club scene series. Stay tuned!

“Happy Father’s Day……to My Ex”

Hellewww!

I have been somewhat M.I.A. on the blog since the beginning of this year.

There has been a lot of growth and learning that has taken place from the end months of 2012 thru now.

The first of these lessons that has really settled in now is coming to peace with my past and learning to love, forgive and maybe even becoming friends with the exes of my prior years.

If you don’t know I am a single mommy of a beautiful, intelligent, and vibrant 7 year old little girl.

Things did not work out between her father and I after her second birthday.

However things came to be for her father and I, out of it came this gorgeous BLESSING from God. Now from age 2 to about 5 it was a very difficult and strained parenting relationship with her father and I.

An older lady advised that things would be hard at first and it was. BUT one day it occurred to me… yes you are a fighter for good, protection of your child and the passions of your heart. However you are not one who likes to continue war, strain, and pain AT ALL. He and his family take care of her and adore her. So WHY be angry with this man? WHY are you allowing your angers or misunderstandings leak into what could be a very positive and blessed co-parenting arrangement with her father? WHY are you blocking your blessings??? WHY? LET.IT.GO and LET.GOD!!!!

My little girl’s father called me on May 1^st this year to remind me that Mother’s Day is near. He also called me “#1 mom.” He said I’m a great mom and he will NEVER let me forget it.

This created a peace of mind I have never felt before and confirmed I made the right decision after our child’s 5^th birthday. It also made me thankful I have a great co-parenting arrangement with him.

The fruits of my personal decision and our fantastic co-parenting are seen in the growth of our child. She is truly BLESSED and it shines in her everyday interactions, thought processes, academic accomplishments and kindness. She is as happy today as she was when she was born. Her health is blessed. Her studies are blessed. Her future is BLESSED.

Mothers and fathers…whether you are together or not, for your children to see that mom & dad are friends is what will keep your children mentally stable and at peace for the rest of their lives.

Parents, I exhort you to check all negativity & adult crap at the door when it comes to your children. You’ll see the results as they become productive citizens.

For me now things are at PEACE. That is all I ever want in this blessing called life. PEACE at home. PEACE in my family. PEACE at work. Just PEACE be still.

*Pic courtesy of http://www.slidedesign.com

Jonathan Jaxson Asks “Don’t You Know Who I Am Yet?”

I had the pleasure of interviewing the resilient and driven Jonathan Jaxson. He has worked with some of Hollywood’s greatest names as well as major players in the reality TV realm. On his resume you’ll find radio DJ, host, TV anchor/reporter, Hollywood publicist and now author with the release of a new tell all book!

· We’re excited about your most recent accomplishment and new tell-all book coming out today entitled “Don’t You Know Who I Am Yet?” Can you give us a brief glimpse into what the readers are in for when they pick up DYKWIAY?  JJ: The book starts off with my childhood, and my own desires for fame and what drove me and how I became the head of PR for the Backstreet Boys at 17. It takes you along my journeys as a publicist, my reality TV time, how one becomes famous through a publicist, the dirty work of a publicist and also SOME of my encounters along the way.

· Can you give us some of the celebrities you dish on in your book?  JJ: Well, there are many throughout my story…But here is a quick list of some: Kim Zolciak, Adrienne Bailon, Stephanie Leigh Schlund (Hunger Games: Catching Fire), LeAnn Rimes, Aiden Turn (All My Children), DaBrat, Rosie O’Donnell, Diana Ross’ Daughter, Lindsay Lohan, Britney Spears, Cuba Gooding Jr., and soo many more.

· What were some of the most surprising things you found out about the celebrities you have worked for? Their quirks? The spirit of giving back and helping others out?  JJ: Oh well, there is nothing that surprises me anymore. The book is very honest and revealing, not only about myself, but my experiences along the way. I am going to leave this for you to read the book and talk about 😉

· Other media sources are reporting from your book that your former client Adrienne Bailon staged her own leak of the nude pictures in an effort to create a name for herself and get from up under the Disney mainframe. How much publicity from a client is real versus a carefully staged publicity stunt? How much say does a client have in their publicity campaigns?  JJ: Adrienne came to me and wanted out of the Disney spotlight. She had learned through people she was with at the time that she could leverage the same type of fame through some sort of scandal. Clients always have the first say, and then it is a meeting of the minds. Everything in Hollywood is calculated. For instance, most of the major celebrity stories that come out in the press happen on Mondays, because that’s when they get the most PR. It is part timing and part the subject matter.

· Can you give us an “insiders” tip on how to determine the truth versus the “stretched truth” of a pr stunt when reading the headlines?  JJ: This is a hard question, because truly one will NEVER know. Unless we’re talking veterans like George Clooney and others who aren’t in any form looked at for their behaviors.

· Now you know I have to ask about the publicity stunt queen, Kim Kardashian, as your former client… Do you discuss her in your new book? Can you tell us how the lawsuit she filed against you ended because to me the 2011 lawsuit seemed like it was based upon your word vs. her word?  JJ: There had only been two lawsuits I have been involved in, one with a blogger and the other with former client Kim Zolciak. What was planted out there to ruin my name was based purely on the fact I had spoken my own opinions and had very little merit. This story was sooo far fetched from the other side, but I had no control as this individual seemingly owns a portion of every magazine, website, etc. It was a very dark place for me to be so out of control and the center of attention. I attempted suicide and had a major wake up call and thought I would leave the business for good, but I gave it another two years or so until finally saying goodbye to Hollywood celebrities.

· From working as a reporter at local TV stations in Atlanta and Jacksonville to becoming a celebrity publicist, what made you decide you wanted to become a publicist?  JJ: I started PR at 15. But really gained momentum at 17. In 2008 I wanted to be part of something with much more substance, so I took to TV news. I love being a voice for others that don’t have one or just simply putting a smile on someone’s face. I eat, live and sleep TV news and hope to rejoin a station some where local on the east coast soon.

· Now seeing that you have had quite a few clients as reality TV stars, would you like to star in your own reality TV show someday?  JJ: I have done my own reality show, where I got married on Bravo back in 2006. In the past six months I have been approached by a few different producers about doing my own reality show…But nothing that is up my alley yet. If I did a reality show it would be completely raw and not made to make me look good. It would be true, old fashioned reality TV!

· What is in the future for Jonathan Jaxson?  JJ: To be back on TV News anchoring at the news desk or co-hosting a radio show somewhere. I love both and this time it’s about me. I am burnt out on helping others; it’s my time to shine!

You can find out more about Jonathan and how to purchase Jonathan’s book on his site www.dontyouknowwhoiamyet.com

Another Year Down…I survived!

Above…my FAVORITE GOSPEL SONG and one I begin almost EVERYDAY with….Mary Mary’s “Survive.”

For me, 2012 has certainly been a year of survival, lessons, challenge and victory; discovery and elimination; love, gain, loss, reunion and most importantly reconnection to God.

I will spare you all of the intricacies of my 2012, but to say 2012 has been an awesome year would be a gross understatement!

One incident that just occurred a week or so ago had to be the most important reminder, WAKE-UP call and lesson of this year. Confession: I have a terrible habit of worry and fear. I say I trust God, but at times I do not fully give it to God. I will pray about it, but then turn around and try to help God with it!

I know He sits back, shakes his head, and says this child of mine! Welp while she thinks she is helping me and not trusting me to handle EVERYTHING, I’ll go over here and help this lady who has a firm faith in me.

The incident…

Shortly before 6pm on this past Saturday before Christmas, I was out shopping and driving along, approaching a traffic light.

Suddenly I hear a loud crash from the opposite direction and I see a car has driven up on the median separating us and hits a tree there.

2 guys were in the car that looked like they were in their early 20’s. Thankfully both were ok. The driver sustained a cut above his lip. I jumped out and went into mom mode, called 911. Other drivers and pedestrians helped as well.

I overheard them tell the officer the guy was reaching for food.

It was only one car involved, minor injury to those involved and slight damage to the car.

GOD IS GOOD. 

Once the cops arrived I left, but then a rush and came over me when I got back to my own car. I looked over once more, processed this scene and realized their car was gunning directly towards mine.

Here come the tears, tears, tears and shouts of gratitude to God for His direct display of grace, mercy, and PROTECTION!

If it was not for God and that median with the trees, they would have hit me directly on my side and my door.

Once again He confirms protection over me. Confirms that I also need to stop worrying! If I have prayed to Him about it, give it over to Him and LET IT GO! LET ALL ANGST, WORRY, AND FEAR GOOO because He is always watching and PROTECTING ME!

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” Philippians 4:6.

So I leave you with this simple message…HAVE FAITH. LIVE FAITH and TRUST GOD. For those of you not familiar with God and the Savior Jesus Christ, I encourage you to welcome them into your life and into your hearts. It will be the BEST decision you have ever made.

Here’s to a bevy of Blessings in the New Year!

**Mary Mary video courtesy of YOUTUBE/VEVO**

One date that flew smooooth over the cuckoo’s nest…

Hellewwww once again guys & girls! I hope your Thanksgivings were grand and glutinous and you’re going into the Christmas holiday with glee!

Now let me ask you to think on your personal definition of crazy or insane?

My definition says someone mentally unstable; erratic, OFF THEIR ROCKER.

The Oxford dictionary properly defines it as “mentally deranged, especially as manifested in a wild or aggressive way.”

NOW in my first blog entry I shared with you some of the degrees of dates I have had. I did mention crazy? Right?

Soooooo let me tell you about my very first time I decided to dip mi toe in the rainbow pool of dating ……….YES I dated a man outside of my race. No sweat….

Now let me tell you this man was fine, fine, FYNEEEEEE. Educated, solid career, lovely home, can dress to the nines, etc. etc. etc. A CLASS ACT.

He adored me and I him. *Now I note along the way of our 2-month courtship… he has a bit of a crazy look in his eye when I mentioned an old time guy friend, but you know before you live more life…you ignorantly ignore the HILLS of red flags waving in your FACE and SCREAMING!!!!!!!!!!!! RUNNNNN!!!*

Welp this gentleman and I made plans to go out on the town one Saturday night. Plans were fine dining, movies, and then my fav….SALSA!!!

NOW…he scoops me up and we begin the evening at one of the finer restaurants around… ummm NO it wasn’t Red Lobster, TGIF’s, Applebee’s peeps. I told you this guy was a class act now!

He was doting and affectionate as always and paid me and only me all of his attention. He even ordered my food & drink for me. …didn’t want me to lift a finger. Ok ya’ll know I AM LOVING THIS!

He says with his accent “Baby…you look lovely tonight.”

Me: Thank you love. *Feeling all fuzzy and loved LOL!*

Him: How about we take a road trip to Sugar Mountain or the Blue Ridge Parkway? We can do some skiing, have a couples spa visit, shopping, and take in the sights?

Me: An immediate reminder from my mother when it came to dating trips… NO mountains at first. WHY the mountains? So you can push me OFF sir? I’ve only known you 2 months. So I said, “Well that sounds divine love, but can we postpone the mountains trip for a later date? We’re in the snow season and I’d rather stay close in the case of breaking news and I have to work a double shift or go in on my days off. Instead can we take in a spa date around town?”

Him (and I kid you not)…his neck twitched and he said “Ummm ok, but aren’t your days off, your days OFF?”

I kindly advised him “Yes, but I also work in news and need to be near for any and all major news events.” (..which is very true)

Welpppppppp we continue on this back and forth and then this guy throws in my old guy friend and asks if he is the reason I don’t want to go with him?????????

Say WHUT???????? I’ve known you how long? I’m lost… Are we REALLY ARGUING in this restaurant about a postponed date request? *insert sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh here*

Then he just…gets UP out his chair, storms out and LEAVES me at the restaurant.

……………astonishment……………….blinking…………hysterical LAUGHTER! …….and then I pick up my phone and call my home girl to come pick me up b/c this sir SNAPPED and up & left me with no transportation!

*I’m laughing and shaking my head as I write this ya’ll!*

AND my home girl arrived at the restaurant laughing! Whewwwwwww!

And the rest is history and SO is that sir.

Lesson???

NEVER ignore the bevy of RED flags flapping and snapping in your face. They are there for a reason! Take HEED and RUNNNNNNNNNN!

Sincerely,

The deserted & hysterically laughing newsgirl.

*Poster pic courtesy of Wikipedia*

Mount Pilot…I think I found the grown Opie!

Hellewwww guys and girls!

I’m coming to you this time to discuss another dating experience I had since I decided to step out into the dating waters a couple of years ago.

So I met this guy through a mutual friend about 2 years ago. This is a friend who knows I DON’T like men with hygiene issues, jobless, God-less, ambition-less, and just LESS! So he was a pretty safe bet.

So he and I have communicated over the phone for a few weeks. He lived about 2.5 hrs from me, but we decide to make our first date at one of the biggest parties of the south… The CIAA Basketball Tournament!

This is where over 100,000 people, college students, celebrities (mainly of African-American descent) descend upon Charlotte, NC to enjoy a week of celebrations, HBCU basketball, and sometimes pure foolery…but it is fun I must say!

Sooo this gentleman and I meet and ride the light rail in. This guy is a nice dude. God-fearing, loves his family, intelligent, presents himself well, gainfully employed, and owns FRESH BREATH!

**Now you and I flash back to my first entry about stankolio, but I digress….

We ride the light rail in to a variety of events at the convention center. Now you probably don’t know this about me, but I love music, to dance, and be in the mix of things. Soooo when we get in and see a dance competition on stage I motivate towards the crowd. Then Tom Joyner hits the stage and I’m all into it.

I move closer to the stage and look to him to say c’mon with me. Him (sounding like dopey the dog)…noooo I’ll stay back here. I wave my hand and move with the party and left him standing there with my coat. So a noted stick in the mud on a first date eh? Strike…ONE

Tom Joyner’s stage appearance closes out and I & nice guy move on throughout other events.

We decide to get some grub at one of my favorite places once again…YES Chipotle! As we’re riding the light rail back to our vehicles he turns to me and says “I think my arm is tired can I stretch it out?”

I had a HARD brain stopping moment thinking did this….just………….sighhhhhhhhhhh. So I answered since he gave me a moment to actually think about it… “No sir.”

And he had the nerve to give me a side eye & side lips??!! Alright…Strike TWO.

Next…we break bread and go to the comedy show with co-host of The Talk, Sheryl Underwood and Mike Epps! Before the show begins and we’re people watching dude leans over to me and says…”Now I really want to stretch out.”

Welp…I gladly obliged but did this after I said “Ok” and moved one entire seat over to allow him to “stretch out.” He rolled his eyes this time! Strike…THREE… and I’ve pretty much clocked out of this date, but still staying for this comedy show that we went Dutch on.

Most of you may know Sheryl gets pretty raunchy in her stand-up comedy routines but she still has me hollering and falling in the floor like the front row occupants used to do on Def Comedy Jam!

**Side notation…I’m saved, but I haven’t been saved all of my life! So raunchy or no raunchy I can laugh at it all b/c I really do LOVE TO LAUGH. It’s one of life’s best natural medications!**

NOW I’m whooping and hollering at Sheryl talking about men, sex, foreplay, etc. and dude turns to me and says “You know what she’s talking about?” I figuratively slammed the DOHR (not door) on this. Am I out with Andy Griffith’s grown Opie from “Mount Pilot??”

If there was such a Strike FOUR to the game this was it with the cherry on top! No connection!

Dating lesson…ladies and gentlemen once you get immersed into the dating game…hold off on some of your quirks, immaturity, and inexperience (if you have some) until AT LEAST date three. Just get to know the person in general and then drop these flaws to the person thereafter b/c we all have them. You never know…that person may be willing to teach you a thing or two if there is a connection. However, in the process be a good sport & show you can have fun and can make the effort to enjoy some of the things the other person likes such as music & dancing!

Sincerely,

Me, myself, and moving on…NEXT!

The Week of Oct. 15-19 in Entertainment News

Whew…once again another week of drama, fights, and all of the above in this week of entertainment news.

1. Well the week started off with a little flavor…that is Flavor Flav who was arrested for allegedly throwing his 39-yr. old fiancé’ to the ground, ripping out her earring, and chasing her teenage son around the house with not one, but two knives. Reports say the argument began with her accusation of Flav being unfaithful. Have ya’ll seen the mugshot? I STILL escapes me how this man continues to attract women and now a fiancé? Whewwwww.
2. When it comes to any man, his woman, and any other man in his woman’s past that is a sore and tender spot. AND Kanye West proved that in Miami when an eager beaver paparazzi asked him about congratulating Reggie Bush on his baby news since they were all in the same city at the same time. I don’t care how great or not great of a celeb any man is, but the jealousy card ALWAYS gives a nasty reaction when it comes to their women. AND stay tuned…reports are swirling Kanye may propose to Kim on her 32^nd bday on today Oct. 21^st.
3. BEYONCE has made another milestone in her career. It was announced that she is locked in to perform for the 47^th Super Bowl on February 3, 2013 in New Orleans, LA. You know I’ll be tuning in to shake my tail feather with her! Congrats Bey!
4. Comedian Katt Williams’ name “made the papers” and once again (and unfortunately) in a negative light. Reports say Katt was waving a handgun in an LA nightclub. He was detained but then later arrested hours later with no charges. Katt says it was all a misunderstanding. Either way I need Katt to have a long-hard seat and sabbatical from the “stage” for a good minute to gather himself and get back on track.
5. Well the questions are looming about Jennifer Hudson and her hottie fiancé, David Otunga. WHEN are they finally tying the knot? She keeps putting the date off, but word is he is ready to make it official and become man & wife. I know Jenn is focused on her career. Is she not ready to settle down though? Note to Jennifer…you mess around too long and then that good man will be up for grabs and there are a plenty women who would love to have him. He was done wrong on VH1’s “I Love New York” reality series. I was hoping in real life he’d get it right with you girl!
6. Magic Johnson has announced he would like to do a movie based on the life of Soul Train creator Don Cornelius. In addition to this, he is bringing back the groovy Soul Train as a variety show! Soullllllllllllllllll Trainnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn…..
7. LaToya Jackson (my namesake) is going to be a participant in the all star edition of Donald Trump’s Celebrity Apprentice. The all star show will include Omarosa Manigault, Gary Busey, Claudia Jordan, Dennis Rodman, Lil John, Trace Adkins, Stephen Baldwin, etc. The new season will begin in March.
8. Also in March Kevin Hart’s show Real Husbands of Hollywood will premiere in March on BET. Reports state that it’s supposed to be a reality comedy/improve show featuring Nick Cannon, Robin Thicke, Boris Kodjoe, Anthony Anderson, etc. Now BET…you have an opportunity to fix your TV show track record. I’m sorry, but I am NOT impressed with their original TV series AND am still mad at how they have managed to screw up one of my favorite shows The Game. Grrrrr

My take…the week of Oct. 8 in Entertainment News

Welp this has been an interesting week in the world of lifestyle and entertainment news. Honestly to me, most weeks are fairly entertaining!

1) First let’s start off with Bobbi Kristina…………………………………………………………….. It is reported & teased that Bobbi Kris announced her engagement to her “adopted brother,” Nick Gordon, to her family on their new reality show “On Our Own.” I honestly don’t know the real dynamics of this situation, BUT a telling deet in the latest news from their family is that the family wants to revise Bobbi’s inheritance payments. Could her grandmother be concerned about her spending and the company Bobbi is keeping now? Sounds like a valid concern to me.

2. The Nicki Minaj & Mariah Carey feud. According to Mariah Carey’s hubby, Nick Cannon, it was a publicity stunt. I and a co-worker had this discussion about the feud and PR stunts. Is this the only thing American Idol has left to stay relevant in the reality show/talent game? We all know The Voice and X Factor have the game on lock now. However, I do remember the days the pure talent of the contestants was A.I.’s focus and draw. Now is it all about the judges? Let’s get it together A.I.

Moving on….

3. Speaking of American Idol, former A.I. judge Paula Abdul is set to be a guest judge on Dancing with the Stars on October 15. Now THIS is her element and to be honest I’d LOVE to see her have a permanent seat on that judge’s table with Carrie Ann Inaba.

4. Lindsey Lohan and her mother Dina. I just….I mean…. *sigh* All I can say is each family has their own problems, but why is Dina still partying with her child though? Focus Toy… well shoot they don’t need a reality show of their own b/c their family drama plays out almost EVERY week in the news and the law records.

5. The NY Times reported that Yéle, Wyclef Jean’s charity, is in fact turning out to be the fraud some speculated it to be from the 2010 earthquake in Haiti. After a close examination it was discovered that the MILLIONS donated for the victims of the Haiti quake went to staff salaries, “projects” of his brother that never came to fruition, and the list goes on.

6. Martin Lawrence is laying low these days. Reports are that the TV pilot for CBS fell thru and he is going through a divorce now. Sources say he is also going through depression. ***Keep your head up Martin! Your time is coming again! I’m rooting for you! ***

7. I think we are getting to the bottom of the Queen of Soul’s weight loss. Sources say Aretha Franklin had lap band surgery and a breast reduction. Either way do your thing Aretha! Healthy is beautiful! We still love ya!

8. TMZ reported that the law in the great state of Texas raided rapper Nelly’s tour bus where 36 bags of heroin, a gun and 10-plus pounds of marijuana were found. Mind you this is the SAME stop where other celebrity buses have been raided and busted for some of the same offenses…. Willie Nelson, Fiona Apple, Snoop Dogg, etc. (One would think a lesson would be learned…., but I digress….) Nelly says he was unaware any of the above were aboard the bus. Brian Keith Jones, a staff member of Nelly’s, stepped up to the plate and admitted the gun & the drugs were his and he was subsequently arrested. I saw his mugshot and he reminds me of Van Brett Watkins… (Former Carolina Panther Rae Carruth, Cherica Adams case) *I begin to shudder as I think back to that case.*

Celeb Obits …R.I.P. & prayers to their families & loved ones

–Leo O’Brien. Rightful claim to fame: actor (The Last Dragon)

–Alex Karras. Rightful claim to fame: ex NFL-star, football commentator and actor (Webster, Blazing Saddles)

–Gary Collins. Rightful claim to fame: former Miss America Pageant host, actor (The Loveboat, Charlie’s Angels, Fantasy Island, etc.)

Off the Bench & Back in the Game…

Ok. So here we go. I am a professional single woman. You ask my age…I’m in my mid 30’s (aka the new 20’s). So it’s been over 5 years since I have been in any serious relationship. BUT before anyone asks WHY it has been that long…it was by choice. So please discard any negative thoughts like “Well what’s wrong with her? Is she gay? Is she dumb? She must be too picky… She might as well get ready to be an old maid.” Hmmmmmm NO and HELL NO to all of the above. I wanted to learn to love me and know ME better before I welcomed another man into our lives.

I decided about two years ago that I would start “dating” once again. Needless to say this “dating” drive has been “interesting” as most are.

I’ve dated the most subdued to the CRAZIEST of them all; the weirdest, the shortest, the tallest, the creepiest, and the stankiest. YES I said “STANKIEST.” Since you’re still wondering in what dictionary this term can be found; it can be found in the musts of dating dictionary for LIFE… in between the terms soap and wash!

Speaking of STANK can I talk about one experience with you? …….Thanks for allowing me the floor!

Moving on…

…about a year and a half ago I decided to test the dating waters in the new town I moved to for a job promotion. I met this new city guy via facebook…yes facebook… (no judgment passed here please… you’ve been there and done that too friends!) We chit chat back and forth through DM’s and eventually come to a first meeting over a Saturday lunch at one of my fav places…Chipotle! That meeting went well. He made me laugh, but I noticed he seemed to be a little hesitant about completely opening his mouth. You know how you do if you have a chipped tooth, missing tooth or something in that area you are self conscious about? You’re constantly trying to cover it up…like my ex decided to smack a Band-Aid in the center of his forehead because he had a massive pimple. Um sir….that makes it even more obvious. Soooo if ya got a chipped tooth…work it! Be proud if you can’t afford to get it repaired! Even though he can afford it, you see it hadn’t stopped Fabolous? He’s still rapping, and lisping lyrics right along.

*Side life affirmation… be just as comfortable in your imperfections as you are your perfections beautiful people!*

So I let that fly. Some weeks go by and we decide to go to the movies and to meet at the theatre. He is a gentleman and pays for our movie. Mind you he shows up in a hoodie and baggy Karl Kani jeans. Me (in my mind): Did this man … Karl Kani??….I just….. hmmmm ok. 

So we get into the theatre. We’re on the end of the aisle. He’s on the end and I am to his left. He’s chit chatting with me and I notice it’s awfully HOT in here and something is FUNKY. The more he talked…the warmer and funkier it gets in here. Does this man have halitoscious?!

NOW you know how “dating” folks get huggy buggy in the theatre…welp of course that would be he. He touches my knee and said “I like how sexy your leg looks when you cross it….” I’m moving over screaming in my mind Sir do not touch me.

Mind you already his breathe has BURNT my nose hairs off. NOW I think I smell underarm issues… UGHHHHHHH. I’m about ready to throw up at this point. AND of course he wants to chit chat all throughout the movie all up on me and trying to be boo’ed up.

He asks… “Are you ok?”

I exhale LOUDLY and say “Um yeah…” Just shut the bleep up and quit taking in O2 so closely by my face!

I have never hugged and clutched the opposite side of a movie seat like I did that night. You would have thought I was hanging off of a cliff and the other side of my seat was a dangling piece of land that was keeping me alive by a thread!

He FINALLY gets the point…shuts up and the movie continues. BOY when the movie ended and as we were walking down the steps I let him walk ahead of me and then I know I let about 10 rows of people get in front of me before I finally walked out.

Welp movie is over we’re walking to our cars. We get to mine and yes I give a Church hug and proceed to get into PePe (yes that was my car’s name) …  of course Harry Halitocious goes in for a kiss… You would have thought my feet were on fire because I have never JUMPED in PePe and gunned the gas as fast as I did only to save what was left of my smelling senses. By the end of the evening my smelling senses were terribly OFFENDED and PISSED at me for exposing them to that!

And I decided to call my friend a few weeks later to let him down easy and I told him the total truth in finding someone else I began dating…. don’t you know sir said “I have heard that so many times before.” SIR (knock knock knock on your brain) is that NOT a SIGN???? Whewwwwwwwww

Dating lesson…. Ladies & fellas before you decide you want to immerse yourself into the dating scene…for starters INVEST in toothpaste, clothes detergent, an iron, and practice good personal and dental hygiene. I think I can promise you more hits than misses!

Thanks!

Sincerely,

Me & my offended nostrils.

**Photo courtesy of wwmdonline.com. Thanks ladies!**